Real Friends, how many of us?
The age of social media has made the possibility to connect with people worldwide that much easier. ‘Add Friend’, ‘Follow’ are all at the click of the button with the opportunity to keep them updated with your latest posts. With today’s current situation increasing our virtual friends, have you ever thought what is actually “real”? What does a real friendship mean to you?
I got asked, recently, “out of all your friends who can you call right now and tell them you’re coming over right now?” That really got me thinking about who my real friends truly are. (jokes on them though, its lockdown; I can’t go anywhere).
I’ve always had a wide variety of friends, many friendship groups, but that’s different though isn’t it? I am talking about the friends that you build a special bond with. The ones that are always there for you no matter what. (even though they are a pain in the arse).
Over a period of time you create friendships with many people. When you are in school, you have a group of friends. School is over, you drop them and pick college/university friends. When college/university is over, professional friends come and go. This is just a part of human nature – you grow up and you decide what kind of energy you want around you.
I am the type of person who’d tend to float between groups. I’d remember in primary school I’d invite someone over to my house to eat smiley faces and turkey dinosaurs and play with our Bratz dolls. Then the next day at school I’d always get this feeling that they dislike me...maybe they just didn’t like smiley faces. :( From a young age, I guess you could say that I got a sense of who my real friends are. (not it wasn’t my Bratz dolls).
The moment I formed a real friendship, I always thought it was for good. When they don’t tend to work out, it is disappointing. I had a friend not so long ago; we were always by each other’s side. Everything one person did, the other followed. It was more than a friendship, it felt like family to me. But as time went on, I noticed that we are two different people. Two different people who want different things in life and have a different path in life. When it ended, it was disappointing. I didn’t feel like myself for a while – I lost my right-hand man. After a while, you realise it’s for the best as you continue to grow.
Real friends, how many of us?
How many of us, how many jealous?
Real friends
It's not many of us, we smile at each other
But how many honest? Trust issues
Switched up the number, I can't be bothered
I cannot blame you for havin' an angle
I ain't got no issues, I'm just doin' my thing
Hope you're doin' your thing too
Have a moment to think. Who do you think are your real friends? Who are not your real friends?
I feel like today’s society are more interested in the number of friends they have as opposed to having real friends.
Like any other, I’ve had many experiences where I’ve had to learn and grow. Whether its friendship related or not, it gave me the opportunity to develop other friendships that were considered “pushed aside”. They were the ones that helped me when I was down.
I had a friend few years ago in first year of university. I say, “had a friend”, cos now she’s like my big dumb ass sister. We weren’t that close to start off with, but I remember our first friendship “date” we had. We went to GBK, then went to the cinema to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (cos we love baby Groot) and then came back to my student flat to make cakes in a mug. Second year she came to stay at my flat for a month and that’s when our friendship “blossomed”. Urrrgh can I go back in time and reverse that?
She has helped me through a lot, especially with what happened with the other friend that I mentioned before. I was basically living at her flat in third year. We have created a friendship that not many people understand - even my parents. We’ve gone travelling together. She took me to her hometown in Thailand which was amazing to see where she grew up in. Now we are going to be moving in together and just enjoy life like the mature adults we are (lol). But like I mentioned before, you’ve got to go through many experiences in order to develop on your friendships that are considered “pushed aside”.
That’s why the friendships I have today, are the ones that I connect with. The ones that, when I’m around, they generate this positive energy you just want around you. The type of friends you want to travel with, the ones you want to send memes to or buy you a Wispa and Mango when you’re crying in the library because of deadlines or wanna get fit with or even the ones you want to play cards against humanity but instead settle for psych. You don’t have to be in constant communication with them cos you know that they have a life to live. They them real ones.
It’s disappointing that most people can’t create deep friendships in their lives. They can create friendships according to their needs but not beyond their needs. They form a friendship when they need it and when they don't, they break it.
So, for me, friendship is not a temporarily transaction, for me friendship is permanent.
Sabrina X
(Thanks to all my friends that are still with me today cos I know I can be a pain in the arse)